It should come as no surprise to anyone who knows me that J.R.R. Tolkien would fit into this somewhere.
Brilliant Beards #4: J.R.R. Tolkien (Dwarves)
“Now, hold on one moment!” I can hear you say, “Tolkien is clearly an unbearded man.”
This is true. Aside from the fact that he smoked a pipe (which almost makes up for his bald-facedness), the most manly image of Tolkien that the internet can conjure up for you of is this one from during his military service in WW1. Not only is he in uniform but he is also sporting a handsome moustache.
However, once he moved on to his position at Oxford he seems to have dropped the ‘stache. But while the internet can’t conjure up a bearded Tolkien, I have no such limitations. Seriously, which is the more manly, sophisticated version of Tolkien?
Anyway, it obviously isn’t really Tolkien himself that had a brilliant beard but one of the races from Middle-Earth that he created.
Really, if one were to psychoanalyse me, this whole beard thing is probably based on some sort of latent desire of mine from when I was a young, LotR reading kid who just wanted to be Gimli; he was strong, steady, unflinching, loyal… axe-wielding, and had a sweet dwarvish beard!
Tolkien’s Dwarves clearly held their beards in high regard as can be evidenced by these dwarvish blessings, curses, and exclamations.
– Ch. 12 Bilbo to Thorin: “… O Thorin Thrain’s son Oakenshield, may your beard grow ever longer…”
– Ch. 16 Bombur about Thorin: “Not that I venture to disagree with Thorin, may his beard grow ever longer; yet he was ever a dwarf with a stiff neck.”
– Ch. 17 Thorin cursing Bilbo: “By the beard of Durin! I wish I had Gandalf here! Curse him for his choice of you! May his beard wither!”
– Ch. 18 Bilbo saying farewell to the dwarves: “Farewell… May your beards never grow thin!”
The Return of the King
– Ch. 9 Legolas to Gimli: “Up with your beard, Durin’s son!” he said. “For thus it is spoken: Oft hope is born, when all is forlorn.”
What else needs to be said? Tolkien’s Dwarves are awesome and, thus, beards are awesome.
May your beard grow ever longer!